Oceanside, 2018

Our family enjoyed warm summer days in Oceanside.

 San Diego

 We enjoyed the Redeemer Bible Church in Oceanside.

New Creation

I am a new creation!  I read it today again in 2 Corinthians 5:17.  

And I am righteous!  I read it in Romans and heard it preached.  A righteousness to all who believe…who transfer trust from self to Christ.  Faith means believing that certain things are true, but not just believing, but also trusting in these things, AND entering into benefit of these things.  A transformation of life because of Jesus.

So I am entering into the benefit of my faith in Christ and the way He’s transforming my life.

The reason Carl and I have been in Santa Rosa for 20 years is because we came to serve at the Evangelical Free Church of Santa Rosa which is now Grace Church of Santa Rosa.  We love the church, and we love our neighbors and community. 

It came to me today that it is a privilege and blessing to be here, especially now.  What a blessing to be among those who have lost all earthly things and cry with them.  What a blessing to see the boards rising out from dust and weeds and rejoice with them.  What a blessing to keep on keeping on because I KNOW whom I have believed (yes, been reading 2 Timothy) and to “continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed” (2 Tim. 3:14).  

So I am continuing on, sometimes in tears, sometimes in laughter…but hopefully always in faith in Christ who called me out of darkness to light, and out of death to life.  This is my firm belief.

I was just watering some of our plants on our patio.  I noticed a few weeks back that some of the mint and strawberries had died.  They were dead.  I was pretty bummed out because mint is pretty hard to kill.  

Just now, I noticed that both had new growth!  Cute little green leaves!  Back to life.  That’s what I’m talking about, Santa Rosa, and anyone else who needs to know that in Christ we are firmly planted new creations!

Trying on Shoes...or On the Eve of a New School Year

I find myself on the eve of another school year.  

Last week I found myself curled in a ball in bed in the evening unable to think about moving.

Do you ever get tired of the same struggles, the same sorrows, the same routine?  I do…and I don’t.

The struggles, they bug me (I hear about someone’s awesome insurance payoff or see a beautiful home with a huge yard…jealousy rears its head, or discontent). The sorrows, they annoy me (I remember the things I had that are gone, I’m sometimes tired of the reminder and talking about the fire, and I want to be joyful).  But the same routine?

I miss routine.  

The loss of routine is an unending grief of its own.  You won’t be able to understand how mentally draining, how incredibly disconcerting it is unless it has happened to you.  And every change that comes along throws me for another loop.  No routines and changes galore (new school program, piano teacher moving away, trying to find “normal” in a home that feels like an unfamiliar rental, Trader Joes has discontinued my favorite tortillas…).

I’m also deeply, down-to-the-bones tired.  We are TIRED.

But as a friend who just got mangled in an accident after a summer of turmoil reminds me, “God has me.”

I think of Jesus talking about being the Good Shepherd in John 10.  I first read this chapter when I first became a Christian (I highly recommend reading John if you haven’t recently). Jesus says, “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.”  He knows me, and I know Him.  I think of his tender references to shepherding in Isaiah 40:11.  “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.”  He gathers me and gently leads me.  

And then one Bible passage so many know…Psalm 23.  I’ve been ruminating on the first couple verses: The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul.  

I don’t know about you, but I want a great deal. It often isn’t what I have.  Coming back from being away, we all wanted just to go home.  To our old, comfy, I-know-where-my-stuff-is-and-what-I-have house.  I realized that I don’t want to rebuild from scratch, make millions of decisions, replant a garden in the dust, or live in a construction zone for years to come (hence the curled up in a ball posture).  It’s a constant ache of what I can’t have.  But He promises that as our Shepherd, we won’t want.  That means He will satisfy.  To the depths of our soul.  To the point of restoration.  He’s in the business of soul restoration.  I see it in glimpses, but I’m not there yet.

Today a friend from Germany sent me this quote from somewhere.  "Wenn Gott dich auf den Weg schickt, dann gibt er dir auch die Schuhe dazu.”  Translation: “If God sends you a certain way, He will give you the shoes for it.”  Another words, the Lord directs our steps, right?  He will fit us for those steps.  Something to think about.  It made me think of the Israelites all those years ago, wandering for so many years but their clothes and shoes didn’t wear out nor did their feet swell (see Deuteronomy).  

Friend, this path can be difficult.  It sure has been this past year here in Santa Rosa, CA.  On so many levels.  I am not sure of your struggles, sorrows, or routines that continue on, or are changing quicker than you can keep up.  But in Jesus Christ, the solid rock, unchanging, beginning, end, Savior, eternal lover of my soul…He has me.  If your faith is in his death and resurrection on your behalf, He has you, satisfying you and restoring your soul.  And right now, my Good Shepherd is fitting my feet with the perfect shoes to walk this path for this upcoming school year.

June-July 2018

 Back to Gerle Creek with our whole family this time!  Camping fun in the mountains.

 Bassi Falls--so beautiful!

 Back to Santa Rosa--with a welcome face waiting.  Hanna went home a day early.

 Sweet time with Lily and a latte.

 Lots of decisions to select flooring, cabinets, and counters for the rebuild.

Visit from Maggie's friend...seeing local sights.  Armstrong Woods...

 ...the coast...

 ...Marin Headlands...

 ...Japanese Tea Garden...

 ...Arizmendi Bakery....

 ...Snowbird Coffee...

 ...16th Avenue Tile Stairs...

 ...Corona Heights...

 ...Chinatown, Sushurito, Palace of Fine Arts, and the vista.

Really enjoyed this Spurgeon....

"After that ye have suffered awhile, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you."
1 Peter 5:10

You have seen the arch of heaven as it spans the plain: glorious are its colours, and rare its hues. It is beautiful, but, alas, it passes away, and lo, it is not. The fair colours give way to the fleecy clouds, and the sky is no longer brilliant with the tints of heaven. It is not established. How can it be? A glorious show made up of transitory sun-beams and passing rain-drops, how can it abide? The graces of the Christian character must not resemble the rainbow in its transitory beauty, but, on the contrary, must be stablished, settled, abiding. Seek, O believer, that every good thing you have may be an abiding thing. May your character not be a writing upon the sand, but an inscription upon the rock! May your faith be no "baseless fabric of a vision," but may it be builded of material able to endure that awful fire which shall consume the wood, hay, and stubble of the hypocrite. May you be rooted and grounded in love. May your convictions be deep, your love real, your desires earnest. May your whole life be so settled and established, that all the blasts of hell, and all the storms of earth shall never be able to remove you. But notice how this blessing of being "stablished in the faith" is gained. The apostle's words point us to suffering as the means; "After that ye have suffered awhile." It is of no use to hope that we shall be well rooted if no rough winds pass over us. Those old gnarlings on the root of the oak tree, and those strange twistings of the branches, all tell of the many storms that have swept over it, and they are also indicators of the depth into which the roots have forced their way. So the Christian is made strong, and firmly rooted by all the trials and storms of life. Shrink not then from the tempestuous winds of trial, but take comfort, believing that by their rough discipline God is fulfilling this benediction to you. 

May-June 2018

We missed Maggie and took a photo.

Lily got a bunny.

 Our property getting prepped for a rebuild.

 My birthday--trip to the coast.

 I found flowers on our property.

Carl and I enjoyed a trip away for our 25th anniversary.

Trey's ready for camp with the theme Cat in the Hat.

Happy Birthday to me!

This month I turned 46.  As I reflect on the past year, I once again am astonished by one fact.   

I have been gifted with exquisite, beautiful, by grace through faith, eternal life now and forever from the Creator of the the ends of the earth and the universe.  Because of Him.  All Him.  Just Him.  

I traveled around a bit of the world and met a lot of people in the last couple months.  I am still processing and weeding through thousands of photos.  And even more memories….from England, Germany, France, and Switzerland.  What a joy to spend time with family and friends with three of our children, and such a privilege to meet Christian siblings at the churches I spoke at.

It was amazing to hear the stories.  In England, an elderly gentleman “just really wanted to be a pig farmer, but God called me to trust in Jesus and follow him and I haven’t ‘worked’ a day since.  Serving the Lord is pure joy.”  He became a missionary and pastor for over fifty years.  They haven’t been easy, but you wouldn’t know it.  When he heard some good news on Easter, his response was “isn’t God astonishing?”  Yes, yes He is.  

In Nürnberg I heard from an older woman from Eastern Europe who had tried to pursue every other pleasure and religion for over forty years how “God pursued me and wouldn’t let me be until He had me, and though it hasn’t been easy, He is everything.”  The woman next to her, who had been born in Viet Nam, nodded in agreement.  

In Berlin I heard from a mother about the struggles in bridging the gap in a church that is half Russian and half German.  Then there was a terrible jumpy castle accident, and as a result much more unity.  Her little 9-year-old daughter, on falling face down from up high (in the accident), breaking her jaw, and having a concussion, remarked in the hospital “just like Job, although all this terrible stuff happened…I still believe God is good.”  

I was privileged to speak publicly about the one and only, living, calling, pursuing, good God of the Bible.  What a delight to find interest in hearing more about a relationship with God, or hear how encouraging my talk was!  It was such a privilege.  All from God, through His strength and wisdom.  And all of it completely true.  My eternal life and home are secure because of Jesus Christ dying on the cross of Calvary for my sins and rising again from the dead.  I know this.  For sure.

But at the end of the trip, I had to come back to Santa Rosa.  

That was hard.

I didn’t get to drive up my driveway, go in my beautiful garden, see my familiar things…the list of  “don’t get to anymore” goes on and on, ad nauseum.  

It’s been dragging me down, and so discouraging.  Driving through Coffey Park, the vacant lots and park grounds are covered in new growth of weeds and grass and garbage that has blown there, with the occasional new home popping up. It’s still such a topic of daily conversation.  Santa Rosa is feeling it.  This is such a long, hard road.  

One friend put it well, saying we want to know “when will I feel normal again?”  What is normal?  

And then she mentioned going to her favorite place, the coast.  There, everyone can clearly see the vastness of God’s creation, the majesty of His power, the smallness of me and my issues.  She later sent me these verses from Psalm 63:5-7:  “O God of our salvation, the hope of all the ends of the earth and the farthest seas; the One who by His strength established the mountains, being girded with might; Who stills the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves, and most importantly the tumult of the peoples.”

I reflected on this passage and delighted in its words.  He is my salvation.  He is the hope of all the ends of the earth and the farthest seas.  This became so clear to me in my travels…as I gazed on the countryside in England dotted with sheep and flowering thickets, flew over the English Channel, explored Germany from north to south, west to east (even seeing the Netherlands from across the channel), walking around quaint ancient cities in England, France, Switzerland, and Germany, seeing winter turn to spring repeatedly, climbing in the Alps, gazing at the snow-covered Eiger, Mönch, and Jungfrau with the turquoise Tünersee below, watching the rushing waters of the Thames, canals, Rhein, waterfalls, and Spree, walking the cobblestones, hearing the birds (even the cuckoo on a morning run), seeing fields of brilliant yellow flowers, hearing voices raised in prayer and songs of praise in other languages, seeing His love reflected in dear faces, being granted sweet times of fellowship and generosity, and flying home gazing down over countries, continents, and oceans…He is the one who by His strength established the mountains, being encircled with might. And He is the One “who stills the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves, and most importantly the tumult of the peoples.”  

I looked up “tumult” to better understand and flesh out what it means.  Some synonyms are turmoil, confusion, disorder, disarray, unrest, chaos, turbulence, mayhem, maelstrom, havoc, upheaval, agitation, trouble.  Sounds like my heart some days, for sure!  And maybe some days yours?  There were definite times of  struggle and tumult in our travels.  Sometimes in the most unexpected places.  And definitely in Santa Rosa.

Today I read Psalm 117, which reads:

Praise the Lord, all nations!

    Extol him, all peoples!

For great is his steadfast love toward us,

    and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.

Praise the Lord!

So this cemented my thoughts about these last months and year for me.  

The command in this Psalm is to praise and extol the Lord, all nations and all peoples!  That’s you wherever you are, that’s me wherever I am.  Why?  Because God has great steadfast love and enduring faithfulness.  And salvation.  Hope.  Strength.  Might.  Stillness.  He loves and remains forever and ever and ever, enduringly faithful.  Praise Him!

Which brings me back to my one astonishing fact.  I have been gifted with exquisite, beautiful, by grace through faith, eternal life now and forever from the Creator of the the ends of the earth and the universe.  Because of Him.  All Him.  Just Him.