Posts...post fire

The following are posts I posted after the Santa Rosa fire destroyed our home.  Everything ashes.  This was Sunday night...

Two days ago we left our home in Santa Rosa to go camping at the coast 30 minutes away. Our 2 eldest daughters and some friends joined us for dinner. Then they went home to get ready for college classes the next day. In the middle of the night they had to evacuate with smoke and fire everywhere.  Hanna saved her sister's life.  They could have so easily burned to death with no warning, on sirens, no evacuation.  They are safe and we are safe, but our house and pretty much everything we owned (19 years in this home) is ashes. We head back today. As I ran and cried, and ran and cried on the beach this morning, each new thought and loss another pang, these words from an old hymn came to mind. "When sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul." I am sure the days ahead won't be easy and sometimes the weight will be staggering, but I will be resting in the supremacy and sufficiency of Christ, who took away my sin on the cross to purchase my soul for eternity with Him forever. May I display the difference He makes in my heart and home. I don't have addresses or many emails or contact info, but feel free to pass this along to others who may know me. Thanks so much for your prayers and thoughtfulness. I just took this photo.

A few hours after a beautiful time at the beach, our house for 19 years and everything in it burned to dust. So thankful our girls and neighbors escaped. I was considering this monumental loss. The loss of things like wedding dress and wedding photos, or baby clothes and photos. So many original paintings of my children and so many memories. Recordings of my grandmother's voice telling of her years in Germany during World War 1 and 2. How God was faithful. How "I have experienced much good in my life, and the bad I have forgotten." I had just received my mother's journal from my father. She died when I was 19. I had only had a chance to read the beginning, the middle (when I was born and her thoughts about me 🙂), and the end (when she knew she was dying) before it was lost in the fire. Her last words were (in German), "Herr, wir geht's weiter? Alles liegt in Deiner Hand. Lob und Dank." Translated: Lord, how does this go from here? Everything lies in your hands. Praise and thanks. " Now those recordings and journals are gone. And the Bible verses painted on my walls are dust. But God, his Word (the Bible), and the eternal hope that by grace through through faith in Jesus Christ's death on my behalf and resurrection from the dead offers to all who believe...priceless. And no one can take it away. I had painted the words "Jesus ist immer noch größer" (Jesus is always still greater) over our front door, and Isaiah 26:3 on our bedroom walls. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is staid on Thee because he trusts in Thee." Perfect peace. So as the dust settles and it seems there is nothing left, I see the rubble and hear my Oma and Mutti say, "Press on. Turn your eyes to Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace." I hear my children singing, "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms", and my Savior and Lord say, "Don't be afraid. Peace. Be still. I will never leave you or forsake you. I am with you to the end of the age. NO MATTER WHAT. And, I am preparing a place for you, so that where I am you will always be." How great is my gain.

What's on my mind this morning? The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness. I think that's in Lamentations after the bit about Jeremiah's flesh falling off and feeling like he's chewing on gravel. I am meditating on the unexplainable, incomprehensible STEADFAST love of God.

 What was found in our ashes so far...a pitcher from my grandmother's house, a bowl from a teenage girl growing in her faith while we met for Bible study...

Random photos and videos I didn't know existed until now....

Backpacking!

 

Job & Joni

I've been reading Job lately.  That guy has it pretty tough.  He loses all his wealth, all his children, and his health.  And it doesn't seem to make sense.  He is known to be a righteous guy, "blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil" (Job 1:1).  Job doesn't know what's going on, his wife is clueless (and not helpful at all), his friends don't help...going on and on and on with their thoughts, accusations of lots of sin, and even reasoning that's why he's getting put through the ringer.  But they are not on the right track either.  Yes, he is sinful, but that's not why he's suffering.  God had chosen these things for Job.  It was God's doing for His purpose, beyond human understanding or explanation to Job at that time.

Thinking of this, I remembered the man born blind in John 9:1-3.  Jesus is walking along and "As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him."  Well! I read that again and again.  Jesus does go on to heal this particular blind man, but even if not, God's works could still have been displayed in him.  I just read an article about Joni Eareckson Tada.  She says (about her life as a quadriplegic) that "I believe what happened to me was an example of Hebrews Chapter 12 discipline.  I do.  I've had Christians ask, 'How can you say that of God?  That's awful for you to say He would discipline you by making you a quadriplegic.'  No, no, no.  Read Hebrews Chapter 12: God disciplines those He loves.  Had I not broken my neck I'd probably be on my second divorce, maxing out my husband's credit cards, planning my next ski vacation.  I wouldn't be here extolling the glories of the gospel and the power of God to help a person smile, not in spite of the problems, but because of them."  The article goes on to say, "Who knows better than God how much adversity we need to build our character, glorify Him, and fit us for heaven?"

So as I wonder about tough spots, my own discouragements, struggles, failings, and anything else expected or unexpected barreling my way in the school year ahead, I may encounter things that make no sense at all to me (like Job) or things that are God's discipline in my life (like Joni).  What if I pray "Father, please display the works of God in ME this year no matter what."  And with Job, even in the midst of whatever comes I can say:

For I know that my Redeemer lives,
    and at the last he will stand upon the earth.
26 And after my skin has been thus destroyed,
    yet in my flesh I shall see God,
27 whom I shall see for myself,
    and my eyes shall behold, and not another.
    My heart faints within me!

Job 19:25-27

Amazingly enough:  The context of this prophesy about Jesus in Job is in the midst of Job lamenting about being abhorred and despised in relationships, and having "bones stick to my skin."  

And so I pray.  Lord, here I am.  You know me.  I trust You.  Please display your works in me this year, no matter what.