Where is our true home?

This is a talk I am giving in England the day before Easter.  The stars are for the PowerPoint.

This past October, within an instance, we lost our home along with thousands of other people.  This got me thinking about where my home is, and about my grandmother, who lost her home.  The question for us all is, “What would I do if I lost my home?  And where is our true home?”

My grandmother on my mother’s side was born in 1909 in Pomerania, Prussia.  Her mother died when she was 19, and she lost 1 brother in WWI.  WW2 hit, she was married, and a young mother of 3.  The years that followed caused her to experience many losses and trials.  Her husband was taken as a prisoner of war and shot, she lost her home, her possessions, and tried to stay alive while taking care of her ailing father and 2 small children and baby, working as a midwife and peeling potatoes to survive.  She eventually made her way west, where her brother-in-law lived.  His wife did not like her.  

When my grandmother went to the city hall to request residency, she was told, “We don’t want you here!” She was denied the residency.  At this, she thought, “What do I do?  I have 3 children.” And she went outside and cried bitterly.  

This helplessness, that lost feeling, without home or direction, lonely, sorrowful, aren’t we all able to identify with these at some point in our life?  

For my grandmother, she began to pray and seek God.  She had spent these months of terror seeking God and reading his Word, the Bible.  And so she prayed,  “What should I do, God?  I can’t go back home.  Please help me!”  

During this time, the city official had left, and another man took his place inside.  My grandmother noticed that a few young men went in and showed their work permits, requesting residency.  It was granted.  So with a deep breath and head high, she went back in and stated, “I would like the same,” pointing to the young men.  And he gave her residency!  So she came to a new home.

My grandmother gave me many things over the years that I brought to America: a German Bible, a German hymn book, baby clothes for my future children, knit socks and mittens.  I even had my grandmother’s driving license and a coaster that said on it, “Unvergessene Heimat:  Pommern” or “Unforgotten Homeland: Pomerania.”  She spoke often about the home of her youth.

The greatest gift of what my grandmother gave me, and my mother (her daughter) gave me as well, was a demonstration in faith in the God of the Bible.  I heard and believed that as sinful, helpless people who have nothing, the mighty, sometimes terrifying, but loving, and holy God of all creation sent his precious and beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to pay the penalty of my, of our, disobedience and unholiness, in order to bridge the impossible separation and call us to Himself, as His own and precious children, pouring out His just wrath on His son, alienating Jesus, in order to draw those who believe near to Him.  And Jesus, demonstrating the great love of God, did this.  

Salvation to those who believe, our penalty paid in full, as well as the promise of eternal life and an eternal home.

At this point, I want you to take a moment and ask yourself, “Do I believe this?  Have I ever trusted in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ? And if not, why not?” 

****Jesus says, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy ladened, and I will give you rest…and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)

****My Grandmother found this rest in Christ, saying so often, “Praise and thank the Lord.”  And “I experienced so much good in my life, and the bad I have forgotten entirely.”  One of her favorite songs was “I Need Thee Every Hour,” singing until almost 101.

****I saw this faith and perspective also in my mother.  As a child, without father, with much fear when fleeing during the war, begging for potatoes from local farmers, as a young mother away from family in a foreign country, but with continual Bible verses taped to the refrigerator to memorize, Christian radio playing with sermons, and hymns of praise on her lips as she served and worked taking care of our family.

How did this come about?  What made the difference?  Why were these women not bitter and angry?

****Let me read to you from 2 Corinthians 4, starting in verse 5.  If you would like to follow along.  This is the passage I read to my mother the day before she died of colon cancer when I was barely 19 years old and she was 51.

For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

****skip to 13 Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, 14 knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. 15 For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Do you hear the beauty of these words, living and active?  The promises?  The perspective?  The apostle Paul is writing to the church in Corinth, promising that the same God who called light out of darkness, shines in believers’ “hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”  Beautiful!

And then there is that fearsome word, “But.”  This treasure of the good news about Jesus Christ is stuck in jars of clay, or earthen vessels.  That’s us!  Getting older, more easily tired.  I don’t know if you notice this….but I sure do! Older, outwardly wasting away.  

In this earth suit.  Why?  To show that the power belongs to God.  

In affliction of every sort, perplexed, persecuted, getting struck down, dying to our own desires…followers of Christ are not crushed, driven to despair, forsaken, or destroyed.  Instead, followers of Jesus Christ are powerfully ALIVE, believing, speaking, LIVING.  

****As Paul says in Philippians 1:21, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”  Life is from God and for God, and death is gain.

He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also and bring us into his presence.  Happy Resurrection Sunday!!!  This is what Easter is about!

But what does that mean about tomorrow, the day after Easter?  We don’t lose heart.  Even with this earth suit wasting away, my inner self, your inner self if your faith is in Christ, is being renewed day by day.  This is light momentary affliction.  It serves to prepare Christians for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. We don’t fixate and focus on things that are seen or transient, but we look to things that are unseen and eternal.  Sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? 

****We must see with eyes of faith. You can read more about that in Hebrews 11, where faith is described as “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” and “without faith it is impossible to please God. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

This passage that we just read in 2 Corinthians 4 took on a great deal of meaning for me when my mother died. 

It has taken on even greater meaning to me in times of injury or terrible pain.  

Have you felt that kind of pain?  That affliction, being perplexed, even persecution, or close to feeling crushed or in despair?  It doesn’t even have to make sense, but you feel it keenly?  Loneliness, loss, feeling crushed?  Betrayed?  The thought that this is not what I want?

In October, our home of 20 years, everything in it and around it, including my car, our lush garden with roses, lilacs, peach, plum, cherry, apple, and huge trees, all burned to the ground in probably about a half an hour.  A wildfire swept a strange path east to west, described by some as a river of fire, huge flowing flames and explosions and giant flaming cinders devouring some houses and skipping others.  Driven by an unusual and enormous wind, it skipped a 6 lane highway and leveled our neighborhood in Santa Rosa, CA.  They say the fire was double the heat of a normal house fire.  Most everything vaporized.  

****We had gone to the coast of the Pacific Ocean about an half hour’s drive west to camp.  Sunday evening we had such a beautiful cookout and fun time with our family and some friends.  Then, our 2 eldest daughters drove to our house alone because they had college classes the next day, while we stayed at the coast to camp.  Hanna, our eldest who was 19, started calling us at 1:30 in the morning.  Everything was so smoky, the electricity was out, things were blowing over and she was scared.  Carl, my husband, started communicating with police officers and a fire fighter from our church, and told Hanna to go get her 18 year old sister, Maggie, who was sleeping upstairs, and leave the house.  Maggie, who had woken up in the smoke, had gotten up, closed her window, and gone back to sleep.  She would have died if Hanna hadn’t gotten her and driven away.  The girls were driving while on the phone with us.  But the direction they started going had flames on the sides of the road.  There was fire everywhere.  They turned around and were able to drive to safety at a different friend’s house.  

****It was inconceivable that something like this could, and has, happened.  In the photos, you can see the sun at the coast that day, our property, and what remained.  Every day since has been new and uncharted territory.  The depth of this loss…deeper and deeper.  

****All of Santa Rosa has been affected.  The loss of property, homes, and businesses is still crippling and will be for a long time.  7,500 structures burned.  The most damaging wildfire in California history.  Dump trucks are everywhere and charred remains.  The hills are green with spring, but all the trees dead.

So, back to 2 Corinthians: afflicted in EVERY way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair (close, but not quite)….realizing time and time again that the ability to breath, to function, to exist comes from the surpassing power of God.

These are times where I have realized more about Him than ever before…

To the very core of my being.

I have frustrations I knew nothing about, impatience, weakness, and weariness.  I need a scissor, or a needle and thread.  There is none.  A child is sick and we no longer have a thermometer, medicine, or a bandaid.  I don’t know where anything is.  I have problems with my foot since my hand-me-down shoes don’t fit right.  There are endless errands, organizations willing to help if you go there, if you provide the right paperwork, giveaways where you stand in long lines or you don’t really need what they have, or at least not yet….we have hundreds of onions and random snacks, decisions to make about the house we’re in, decisions to make about rebuilding, intertwined with sorrow upon sorrow of loss.  

I started out saying, “I don’t want the tragedy to define me.” But as months pass, it is such a consuming part of our life, like a cloud that won’t lift.

I tell God flat out, “This is NOT what I wanted.”

I ask these questions, like where are my deepest longings satisfied?

How do I keep going in this?

What do I really need?  Really?

Where is my true home?

He answers.  

****Let’s look for a moment how Paul continues instructing the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians chapter 5. 

My 13 year old daughter, Lily, encouraged me one day by saying, “Mama, although everything burned, all our Bible memory work and the verses you painted on the walls, I still remember ‘So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.’ Do you remember that?”  That so encouraged me.  When I looked it up, there it was in 2 Corinthians 5!  But the “home” spoken of is not a house, but our physical body.  

Read with me 2 Corinthians 5:

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, 3 if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. 4 For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

6 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

****…skip to verse 14 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

Let me read that again:  and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

skip to 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

See, the call is the same…no matter what comes, be reconciled to God!  “We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”  

My home may burn (and it wasn’t just the loss of comfort and ease of a home…but the recordings of my grandmother’s voice and all she gave me, knit socks, knit mittens, things from my mother, from my in laws that have died, our photos, our instruments, our homeschool books, my wedding dress and wedding photos, wedding rings, things for future grandchildren, my children’s things, journals I had recorded the lives of my children, my prayers for them, all my original paintings of them and illustrations for children’s books…), this may all be gone, my mother may have died and I miss her so very much, my child may struggle with unexplained physical infirmity, I may be alone in the world and not know the love of family, I may have been abused in the most terrible ways, I may battle with anxiety and panic and depression…the list goes on and I’m sure you have your items to add.  

These are times where I have learned more about God than ever, and where I’ve noticed Scripture that I’d not noticed the same before. 

****In the Psalms, David vividly remarked, 

“I am feeble and crushed;

   I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

O Lord, all my longing is before you;

    my sighing is not hidden from you.”  Psalm 38:8-9

All my longing and sighing is not hidden from God!  And I have had a great deal of longing and sighing lately!  It’s so hard to be needy.  

****And because of Jesus Christ we may say, like the Psalmist Asaph was able to say in faith in Psalm 73:26, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Where are my deepest longings satisfied?  In my relationship with God through Jesus Christ by the powerful working of His Holy Spirit.

But how do I keep going like this or in this?  In my relationship with God through Jesus Christ by the powerful working of His Holy Spirit.

But what do I really need?  Really?  A relationship with God through Jesus Christ by the powerful working of His Holy Spirit.  The daily time in His Word, in prayer, in fellowship with other Christians.  The church.

But this ______________ isn’t what I want.  Doesn’t our sinful discontent always boil down to this.  I DON’T WANT THIS!

Some things in Scripture stick out to me like never before.  I read during the days after the fire ****about Daniel in the Old Testament, and the faith of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3 as they faced getting thrown in the fire saying “our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king….But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”  The king then is astonished to see “four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.”  

God with them, and God is with us, even in fiery times.  Just as he promised and continues to promise through Jesus, through His spirit.  

****Jesus’ last words recorded in Matthew are “I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

As we came into Santa Rosa the day after our house burned, fires continued to burn for weeks, ashes were everywhere, and we had to wear masks because of how smoky the air was.  

****In Daniel’s day, everyone in Nebuchadnezzar’s palace saw, “that the fire had not had any power over the bodies of those men. The hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and no smell of fire had come upon them.”  This reminds me that God can do anything in the lives of those who trust in Him.

I am anxious.  We lost everything.  We were underinsured by at least 100K.  I am worried.  But ****remember, God provides! Jesus says, “Don’t be worried” in Matthew 6.  He says about our life, what we eat, drink, or wear, that “your heavenly Father knows you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”  He has provided the most unexpected blessings.

But this isn’t what she (pointing to person next to me) got.  I look around and compare myself to others.  Jesus says, “Don’t.”  He knows, and provides.

****Paul writes in Philippians 3:7-14: But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

I am to count everything insignificant compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  

I get to know Him.  I get to know the power of the resurrection.  Right now.  Righteous. I forget what is behind. I press on.  He made me His own.  

 So where is my true home?

Well, Jesus didn’t ever have an earthly home. He knows homelessness, He understands ****homelessness. As Hebrews 4:15-16 says about Jesus, our high priest,“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

He is able to sympathize completely, with powerful promises of hope in which he pours out mercy and grace.

****Thieves comes to steal and kill and destroy.  We had thieves and still do….Jesus promised that he came so that we might life, and abundantly (John 10:10).  

When some of Jesus’ followers left him, Jesus asked Peter if he wanted to leave too.  

****Peter, in John 6:68-69 said, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, 69 and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.”  

He has the words of eternal life.

****And despite not having an earthly home, in John 14:1-6, Jesus promised to prepare a place for His followers with Him for all eternity, and I don’t have to do anything but trust Him.  He says, “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. 2 In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. 4 And you know the way to where I am going.” 5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  

God preparing a place, dwelling with us, his people, no more tears, no more death, no more pain.  All things new.

Unshaken, secure, treasured for all eternity. 

****I don’t know WHY he has done this in my life.  I don’t have to know, although I struggle with that!  I can, along with Job 1:21, say, “The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”  And I can along with Paul say, “For I know whom I have believed” (2 Timothy 1:12a).

Unshaken, secure, treasured for all eternity. So what is this good news of the Gospel that I need to repeat to myself over and over, every moment?  Here in John 17:3, my husband’s favorite verse: 

****Now this is eternal life, that I may know Him, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he has sent.

I can’t say it’s easy.  It’s not.  It’s really, really not.  It hasn’t gotten easier either.  

I don’t know your story…..But as we read in these verses, we see we are known to God.  Through faith in Christ, God is the strength of our heart and our portion forever.  The love of Christ controls us.  We no longer live for ourselves but for him who died for our sake and was raised.  We have new life.  To live is Christ.  Full life now, and eternal life to come.  Innerly renewed day by day.  If anyone is in Christ, the old has gone, the new has come.  Through faith in Christ, he has reconciled us to Himself and made us His righteousness:  the righteousness of God, with whom He plans to dwell forever. 

Do you know how it is between you and God?  Where does your hope lie, your view of today, tomorrow, for eternity?  For joy, comfort, home? 

This is His answer to the questions: 

Where are my deepest longings satisfied? In ME!

How do I keep going in this? THROUGH ME!  Through the powerful working of My Spirit.

What do I really need?  Really? As my grandmother’s favorite hymn states…I need THEE every Hour…

Where is my true home?  WITH ME!

It’s not so much the place, but the Person! Now, and then in eternity.

****I have written on the chalkboard in our new, temporary house this verse, “Lord you have been our dwelling place in all generation,” Psalm 90:1. He is, he has to be, my “dwelling place.”  

I love the Psalms!  I was just reading Psalm 23 again.   

****Verse 6: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

    all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I dwell with Him, goodness and mercy follow me around.  FOREVER! 

****I abide in Him. As Jesus speaks about in John 15, He is the vine, I am the branch. Apart from Him I can do nothing.  “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). A few verses later… “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (15:11).

****In Luke 10:20, Jesus tells his followers about the power he has given them, and then he says, “but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”  My name is written in heaven!  Praise God!  Is yours?  I hope and pray and beseech you, make sure it is.  And if it is, abide in Him now, in full JOY!

And as for where my true home is, I can say, along with my grandmother and mother, instead of “Unforgotten homeland, Pomerania” or “Unforgotten homeland, 3529 San Sonita Place, Santa Rosa, CA  USA”….“Unforgotten homeland, Heaven.” 

One tremendous loss for me was my mother’s journal.  I had just gotten it from my father a few months before the fire when he was moving.  I never fully read it.  And now it’s gone.  But I had read the last words which she penned when she knew she was dying. This life was coming to a close swiftly. She wrote in German, but I’ll translate:  “Lord, how does it go on from here?  Everything lies in your hands.  Praise and thanks.”  So often I find myself in that place.  

Lord, how is this going to work out?  No clue.  I don’t know.

Everything, everything lies in your hands.  You are sovereign.  You are in control.  You are my joy.  Not my will but your will be done.  You are my dwelling place.  My home.

To you be all praise.  And all thanks.  For all eternity.